To Unplug or Not Unplug……
Despite all the advances that technology has brought us—breakthroughs in medicine, science, and space exploration—and increased knowledge, global awareness, and a better understanding of social and cultural issues, the same technology has played a significant role in creating a mental health crisis.
A year ago, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an 85-page report on the dramatic increase in isolation and loneliness in our country. Even before COVID-19, the trajectory of this trend was well in play. Once a cornerstone of our social fabric, close friendships have declined over the past several decades, particularly among young people aged 15-24, with technology being a major contributing factor.
Smartphones' pervasive and ubiquitous presence in our lives should not be underestimated. As of 2023, over 310 million people in the U.S. use smartphones, reflecting annual sales of $102 billion. The average time spent on screen is between 3 and 6 hours daily.
Twenty years of research have resulted in hundreds of studies that have come to the same conclusion: Our screen time is eroding the fabric of our human connection.
It is not practical to say, “I’ll stop using my phone,” because its beneficial uses are intricately interwoven into our lives. Texting our family members about appointments or meeting rendezvous, taking phone calls, receiving and sending emails, and conducting essential business functions such as scheduling or using video meeting applications—all these help us function more productively.
But what if we took a “rigorous and honest inventory” of what is actually involved in those three to six hours a day?
Have you clocked precisely how much time you are on Facebook watching reels?
Or Tik-Tok?
Have you calculated how long you’ve played a game or how often throughout the day?
Have you tried to cut it down but found it to be challenging?
There’s a reason for that.
Computer software engineers have created mechanisms that mirror classic stimulus-response experiments with dogs and pigeons – the algorithms built into applications are made to stimulate your use and return to use again, and again. This is known as a “variable ratio reinforcement schedule” because the rewards that are built in are unpredictable and have no particular end. This is why Candy Crush keeps you clicking and swiping for the next level, and Super Mario pushes you to keep fighting the evil force of Bowser and rescue the Princess. It’s also why Amazon is so alluring – it knows what you want. Clicking and using points accumulated from previous purchases is as easy as … a click.
The addictive quality of games, reels, and online ads that have gathered your scrolling data to entice you to buy the next shiny thing is very real. And that addictive quality is precisely what is causing such an epidemic of loneliness, isolation, and disconnection from each other.
We have become drawn into a plastic rectangle that is a false reality, convincing us that to leave it will mean missing out on the next “hit” to our pleasure reward system.
The question is – how do we manage it? What do we replace it with?
Depending on your willingness to engage in a full detox or titration, there are several options to consider.
Full Detox:
Delete all gaming, social media, news feeds, shopping, and erroneous apps.
Don’t just remove them from the home screen – delete them.
Go into your settings and turn off all notifications associated with apps not critical to work and home life.
Take 40 days away from the phone and notice how the quality of your life has changed.
Are you reading more?
Are you spending more time with family and friends?
Are you working your way through your to-do list?
Are you getting to bed earlier?
Are you sleeping better?
Are you spending more time in nature – walking, weeding the garden, or just sitting?
Have you discovered a new hobby?
Have you noticed any changes in your mood?
Consider the positives and follow through for the full 40 days to assess the whole detox. You will likely be able to point to numerous helpful changes in your life due to the effort.
Titration:
Delete all gaming apps from the phone.
Keep the social media – but keep only one or two active on your home screen.
Can you give up Twitter for Facebook?
Can you forgo Pinterest?
Take 14 days away from gaming and then:
Delete all news feeds from the phone.
Instead of reading drama and bad news, begin reading a book.
Instead of getting sucked into the politics of the day, begin a hobby or start a project.
Take another 14 days, and then:
Delete all shopping and erroneous apps from the phone.
These include everything from “Nextdoor” to Yelp and “Grubhub” to Pizza Hut.
After 28 days without games, social media, news feeds, and erroneous apps,
Delete all notifications in your settings. These include banners, badges, alerts, and previews.
Notice what it is like not to be distracted by these notifications hourly or daily.
Notice what it is like to have peace and quiet from the distractions.
The number one response to any of these suggestions is – boredom.
Avoiding Boredom:
When you begin to fill your life with other activities, including meeting friends for a cup of coffee, going for a walk in a park with your children, taking time to focus on the long list of “things to do” that haven’t gotten done, boredom begins to dissolve. Other things in life become more important.
Consider the kitchen drawers that need decluttering.
How about the recipes that have gathered in various places that could be collected into a 3-ring binder?
The sock or sweater drawer can always be cleaned out – not to mention the garage and the attic.
If titrating off your technology seems too overwhelming, start small—in incremental steps—and begin by just turning off your notifications. Reducing those distractions will similarly reduce anxiety or a sense of too much going on at once.
Above all, begin to interact and connect with other human beings. Instead of being on your phone in a grocery line, say hello to the person behind you. Ask them how they are today. Spend more time sitting with your family members and asking about their lives, joys, and challenges.
By reducing our over-reliance on phones, apps, and technology, we can reconnect with a powerful source of well-being and love.
